Thursday, August 2, 2012

Lessons Learned Living Apart

I can't believe how quickly July went by! There are now only two weeks until Jay and I leave on our honeymoon. LA, NZ and Australia get ready!

The upcoming trip also means my "To-Do" list for work and home just keeps growing! I am trying to stay on top of them both so that these last two weeks in the states are as stress-free as possible. After a week of lounging around, I finally got my butt in gear this evening. I completely tackled my "To-Do" list in preparation for Jay to come home tomorrow night.

I am so excited to be living with him again. I have enjoyed my freedom these last 7 months and tried to take advantage of my last opportunity to live alone. Admittedly, this week was a little dull, but last week I had plans every night. I hope to continue my get-togethers even when he moves back in, just not as frequently. Both Jay and I agree how important it is to be able to do things together as well as apart.

I am really lucky that I got to see Jay fairly regularly while he was living in New York City and every few days while he was in Baltimore. Regardless, our distance relationship has taught me a few lessons about both myself and our relationship. 

I learned that I do not train well on my own and rely on Jay for support. I had high expectations for my races this past spring and failed to meet them. As each race approached I knew I was not in-shape enough for my goal. It was a great learning experience. I push through and competed in each one with a simple goal: to finish. And finish I did. Last year at this time I wasn’t comfortable enough to compete in a half marathon on my own. Now I have the confidence it takes to race solo, I just need the push from a training partner. I have come to realize there is always another race.

I've learned that I can make it on my own. Don't get me wrong, I love having Jay around, but I think it is really important that we each have our own friends as well. We met in college and have been together for 6 plus years. All of our similarities and time together have resulted in many of the same friends. This is not a bad thing; we just find it important to have our own friends as well.

The first week or two that Jay was gone were hard. I missed him a lot. I am so thankful I could rely on a few friends during this time. Throughout his entire journey Jay and I talk on the phone at least once a day for a good 30 minutes plus. Those first few weeks, it was nice to hear from my friend Ben on a regular basis. Locally, my DC girls were a big help. While I love my long distance friend dearly, there is something so nice about being able to meet-up face to face with a friend. As always, they kept my social calendar packed ;).

I learned that Jay does have a sense of fashion. Jay had always let his mom fill his closet with clothes. I was happily shocked when he really got into his looks in NewYork. It's good to know I can set him loose in a store and he'll come out looking great.

I learned how important community is. Between our local alumni network and the local bloggers, I had a busy spring/summer. These last few months, I have jumped at every opportunity to go out and socialize. And even though he will be back, I still would like to get more involved in the DC Blogger Community this fall. I have really missed book club!

I appreciate Jay more than before. I didn't think this one was possible. I am continually amazed how he can be there for me even from a distnace. Plus, Jay has been living with my parents in Baltimore. It makes me happy that they are sad to see him go. I am sooo glad that my husband gets along with my parents so well. It makes life soo much easier!

I’ve learned that change can be a really good thing. A year ago I would have never been able to predict all that has happened in the past year. Our “master plan” went out the window in a matter of days. Regardless, the biggest thing I have learned is that change can be a really good thing. Change can open some amazing doors and present some amazing opportunities. I am thankful for these past 7 months. I am thankful for the opportunity to go abroad for a month. I am thankful to have such a great partner in crime. And I am excited to tackle each new challenge as they present themselve with Jay.


What are your experiences with long distance relationships?