Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Splitting up… our new Family Unit


Did you get a little nervous there with the title? Ha! Let’s start with a little recap of today. Ok, there isn’t much to say, I am feeling a little bit better and went to dinner with the girls, yum!!! Now on to the more serious stuff.

I get asked ALL THE TIME about how Jay and I divide the holidays. I have alluded to the fact that we rotate every other, but you better believe this took some talking. And maybe a little crying on my part (eeks, so true).

Let’s just start at the beginning, in 2009 when Jay’s sister got married the week before Thanksgiving, it only seemed logical for Jay to come home with me for the holiday since we live within 50 miles of my parents. That Christmas, we split as normal and went to our own nuclear families households.

In 2010, my family was having an off year. Some family members were traveling and my mom’s kitchen was in construction mode so Thanksgiving ended up at the club. This option seemed less than appealing. Considering Jay was with my family the Thanksgiving prior, it seemed only right that I spent that Thanksgiving with his family.

I think this Thanksgiving was the turning point from Me, Me, ME to US. Don’t get me wrong (or take this the wrong way), but Jay’s family is very sweet and very very nice. It was so endearing to see how much Jay’s sisters want to stay in touch with their brother and how they all love to be together at the holidays. That being said, they had not spent many holidays apart. Yes, the five of them had somehow managed to spend all but 2 together (one when Jay was with me (which apparently doesn’t count since the wedding was the week before) and when Jay’s oldest sister went to Germany).

During Thanksgiving 2010, a few very nice comments (about how if she had known I weren’t going to be there for Christmas she would have brought my gifts to Thanksgiving) were made by Jay’s sister that made me think “uh, oh, I have a family too that I also want to spend holidays with”.

Hence a very fun car ride back from South Carolina for Jay, which was ironic considering he got my ring from his mom during that trip. What can I say, I have great timing!!

As much as that conversation may not have been fun, it was more than necessary. It started the conversation of “what happens when Jay and Sarah become a family”. That Christmas we went our separate ways, but agreed we would stay together for the Holidays come 2011.

In an attempt to be brief, we then got engaged and actually started forming our little family (of 2). 2011 hence was assumed that we would stay together.

Diving holidays are just one of the many things that we must discuss in a very new family. They can cause heartbreak and pain but they can also create a lot of joy. Yes, I will never have my childhood Christmas's back (honestly I haven’t had one of those for about 6 year), but at the same time, I don’t want them back. I am happy creating new traditions and memories that now alternate between two larger families but always with my own family of 2.

How do you divide the holidays?