I talked about this a little after hearing Meg Keene's talk, but I thought it would be helpful to dedicate an entire post to the subject of wedding planning and our guest list.
I don't think it matters what or how or how you plan your wedding, but I think every bride goes through an emotional rollercoaster. While I don't think I've cried (yet) about my wedding I know I have found it really really stressful. For me the first month was the worse as we hashed out the budget, the guest count and therefore the venue.
I love my parents and are very thankful that they are paying for the majority of my wedding. Parents paying for your wedding means you have to let them have a say. I don't know if I would plan my wedding any other way. Jay and I always envisioned a large-ish wedding where we could invite our friends and family (equally). I think reality hit when we started typing out the guest list and found that my family alone was almost 50 people. I am the only daughter, my older brother is married, therefore my wedding is the one my mom will have the most influence in planning. As you can imagine, her friends list was a little extensive for my taste. Thankfully, my mom took it well (or as far as I know) as Nazi Guest List Bride came out. It is actually kind of funny how I (the bride) is the one who constantly asks "how much do you want to spend?" and "mom, we got to stay in our budget" (Don't worry we (she) has had her fair share of splurges).
A side note: I do like everyone my mom invited and probably would have invited them myself, heck even the people who didn't make the list I like, but as every bride knows you have to draw the line. One key thing that I would recommend to brides whose parents have a long list is that they recommend only inviting people who have played a parent in the couples life, the only exception would be coworkers.
Once we narrowed her list down (and when I say her, it's my mom and dad's list) to a reasonable number who actually knew me and/or Jay we could realistically look at venues. For those of you trying to do the math, 70 for my parents, 50 for Jay's parents and 65 for Jay and I.
Now you are probably wondering how we came up with Jay's parents number. Honestly, after looking at Jay and my list I just told them 50. Now it wasn't all rainbows and buttercups to get their list either. Jay's dad originally sent us a list of 30 couples. Apparently my number got translated in "man talk". Thankfully, Jay's parents happened to be visiting when we asked for said number and his mom was quickly able to reduce this number down to 50 (Thanks!!).
Jay and my list was relatively easy. We each wrote down who we wanted to invite and then narrowed down from there. Sadly, some of both of our lists (ok more from mine since it was longer) got the ax, but overall I think our list turned out great. Just remember, you can't invite everyone you have ever met or has ever played a role in your life.
So I guess the long of the short of it is, I would probably have had a large-ish wedding regardless.
